The TV/Music Savage

Big Brother 16 UPDATE

All right, err’ybody… it’s come to this.

And part of me hates to say any of this because this was the first year I got to go to a live show and saw Don Wollman, Dan Sameha, Shawn Laws… etc. (If you don’t know who they are, then you are not as big of a BB fan as you think you are). Dan even gave me a BB Audience shirt for making everyone laugh with my impression of Jocasta speaking in tongues. (On a more critical note, Dan mixed up a lot of HG’s names and it was already a month into the show)

But enough is enough… THIS. SEASON. SUCKS. SOOOO. HARD. And that’s really all there is to it. 

1. UNFORGIVABLE DR SCRIPTING/ONE-LINERS. 

Dear AG/Rich/CBS/Associate Producers,

Real people don’t fucking talk like that. And to severely insult your audience by force-feeding us these crappy made-up lines about “how I felt after I won BOB” is only sending the quality of this show further down the toilet. I understand that there have always been producers there to sometimes assist HG’s in describing how they feel, etc. but anyone with a pulse and a 3rd grade education should be able to understand how fake everything that comes out of the DR is this year. It’s been getting worse and worse for years now, but this year has all but KILLED watching the TV show for me.

If you’re a younger/new fan of BB and have only seen the past couple of seasons, I BEG you to go back and watch Big Brother 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6. This was the true BBUS… better HG’s, better twists, more fighting, better showmances… just genuinely a better product (this probably has to do with the fact that Arnold Shapiro was still around.) Pay attention to DR’s vs. what we see on the show today. HG’s didn’t SCREEEAM their heads off back then because they were mostly just having a genuine conversation with a producer.

2. Team Lame-erica

Stupid. Pointless. Unnecessary. And if you’re going to repeat old twists, bring in another set of secret twins! DUH!!

3. 2 HOH’s/BOB 

Has created a PAINFULLY boring unified house dynamic that has both HOH’s working together to achieve the same goal, instead of what was SUPPOSED to happen… two HOH’s fighting against each other for the ultimate power. Bitches be throwing BOB comps to ensure that one person remains nominated, and then the entire house evicts them. 

4. Casting Quasi-Celebs

I hate to even use the term “quasi-celeb” with Frankie (and I’m not even going to get into how self-centered, materialistic and power-ridden this guy is) but in a show that is increasingly relying on social media as a means of perpetuating itself into American pop. culture, should there really be just ONE person that already has a built-in audience? Nevermind the unfair advantages with America’s vote, etc. (I stopped caring about all that shit LONG ago)… it brings an unwarranted and unwelcome amount of complete MORONS to the BB fandom and I have to sift through a bunch of assanine-ass comments about how Frankie is “the best player EVER «<3” I’d rather see the show cancelled than have it geared and produced for a bunch of high schoolers who are in dire need of a reality TV literacy class.

I could go on, but after last night’s umpteenth predictable eviction and even worse, an utterly boring and cringe-worthy HOH outcome, I had to air some of these thoughts out. For the time being, I am not watching Big Brother 16 the TV show because, for the first time in the history of watching this show, I don’t care about one single remaining HG (and there’s over a month to go!)